ive been wanting and needing to write to yall for the longest
time, since the 4th of july, wow... but i havent had the time, ability, energy, or mental capacity to
even put together a coherent statement...a lot has changed in these past 3 weeks. i dont know if i mentioned it before, but my step-mom is pretty sick. she was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy at birth, and the doctor who
gave the diagnosis said that she wouldnt live past 2 years old. well, she
turned 60 last january and needless to say, has fighting it all her life.
however, because of all the strain her disease has caused her other organ,
digestive, and respiratory systems for the past 60 years, not to mention all
the medicines she has been taking, her body is starting to deteriorate at an
exponential rate. i knew her health was getting worse, but then when i came
home, i was shocked. in the past year she lot over 60 pounds, and when i
first saw here in june she was down to 83 pounds. over the last couple of
weeks i have been in san diego, stayin with her and my dad, tryin to help
out in any way i can. my step-mom's an extremely independent, strong, and proud
lady, so her sudden loss of self-sufficiency is really really really hard on
her. suddenly, two weeks ago, she passed out and we rushed her to the emergency room
of the UC San Diego hospital at 4:30 in the morning where she was then
rushed into emergency surgery because it turns out that she was bleeding
internally, and over the course of her pre-surgery prep, surgery, and
post-surgery observation was pumped over 24 pints of blood.
after surgery she was moved to the ICU-trauma wing of the hospital, where
she/we have been ever since. everyday shes getting tons better, but still
everydays different, and the doctors cant give us a timeline of when shell
be released from the hospital, or even the ICU wing, because everydays
different. peggys a fighter, and has always been, so im positive she will
make it out of the hospital, but until then im at the hospital from 10am to
10pm, with an hour and a half break at 6:30 (when the nurses change shifts).
when im not at the hospital im at my dads, cooking/cleaning/entertaining
him, making sure he keeps his spirits up and has someone to keep him company
and try to alleviate some of his worry and stress.
my mom says that those who are sick try to take the energy (chi) of those
who are healthy, and now i believe it because from the moment i walk into
the hospital and enter the ICU i can fee the chi being sucked out of me, and
the moment i step outside, i can feel my energy returning. so by 10pm, im
EXHAUSTED, not even there mentally, with my head down on peggys bed because
im just sooo so soooo drained. so, with all the stuff goin on around me, i cant (in good conscience) up
and leave, so it looks like the idea of korea is no longer (at least for the
next 6 months) so if anyone wants to "experience all san diego has to offer" youll have a place to stay *wink wink* iris
hi everyone,
i just wanted to wish you a very happy 4th of july, and am really glad to be back in the states to celebrate it too!
i arrived just before father's day, and somehow managed to lose track
of time and wait till now to write yall and let you know that im safe
and sound, back in so cali. i really havent been doing anything more
than spending time with my family up and down the so cali coast, and
some of the cousins in between...i guess two and a half years of
"quality bonding time" is a lot to make up for.
for any of yall who want to kick it, and make up for any "quality
bonding time" lost, lets play! so quick, write me, call me, play with me before i take off to korea in august!
also, i really want to say thanks, thanks, thank you so much for
sticking by me and toughing my service out with me, i know how blessed
and lucky i am to have your love and support.
so again, happy independence day and now lets play!
Wednesday, 31 May 2006
well, not only is today my moms birthday, its also my last week living in my village. by this time next week ill already be on my way to baku, azerbaijan to run amok there...then on to reek havoc in paris for a little while before i... finally land in la and soak up the warm cali rays!!! yay!!!
on saturday my family is planning to throw a kind of last-hurrah for me at my house, inviting practically everyone in aspindza, so that not only will it be a huge goodbye party, itll be a huge gathering of the whos-who-of-whoville. at first i was a little apprehensive at the idea of this whole "lets recognize iris' awesome-ness and then say goodbye" ordeal, but now im thinking that maybe the more chaotic, crowded, and confusing itll be, the less likely ill be to cry the whole night (unless the abundant wine and excess toasting gets the better of me). i think being overwhelmed with the bombardments of goodbyes will help distract me from dwelling on having to actually say goodbye to each and everyone who meant so much to me and made up my world for the last 2 years. everything has its time...but it still hasnt hit me yet that my time here is up. ask me how i am on sunday, feeling the sting of the goodbyes and the pain of the inevitable supra hang-over and ill let you know.
i cant believe my service here is already up, and that im soon gonna be a RPCV (returned peace corps volunteer). i cant believe that in a little over 2 weeks, ill be home.
to be quite honest, im relieved to be going home. my whole time here, even though ive had a lot of good times/great experiences/accomplishments that im really proud of/valuable epiphanies about myself and the world i live in, i have been anxious and uneasy. ive become an insomniac, been diagnosed with gastritis, had to go on medications for various other stress-induced medical problems, and constantly carry around pepperspray on me (in an easy-to-access location at that). ive met some of the most warm, gracious, and giving people here, but i have also been the target of more racial slurs, sexual assaults, and degrading sideways glances than i care to mention and was ever subjected to during the first 22 years of my life. maybe thats why i am so excited to go to korea for a while...so i can blend in and breathe, well not completely, but at least just a little easier than i have been here in georgia. theres no place like home, no place like southern california where the importance of "diversity" never even crossed my mind...but i still want to see if i can get along in a foreign country where the natives brag of their forward-minded-focus-on-diversity without my being "diverse" (aka "different") being constantly thrown in my face. if not, theres always so.cali, where my heart is, no matter how other americans put southern california down, orange county specifically.
okay, now im just rambling...please excuse the rantings of a girl deprived of restful sleep, peace of mind, and a sense of stability. im packin, im in-transit, and im excitedly nervous.
happy day-after orthodox easter!!! i love the whole georgian easter tradition, cracking the red eggs, the whole family (actually whole community) going up to the cemetary to have huge family supras and say toasts and light candles to remember those who have passed away, and to enjoy being with the family and friends that are still around to love and play with. its by far the most cool georgian holiday.
along with easter, april brings lots and lots of showers so that the landscape of georgia now is sooooo completely different that the landscape ive been living in for the past couple of months. everythings soooo vividly colorful and bright and beautiful! its seriously a whole different view than the georgia of the winter. i wrote to my friend, "its amazing the transformations that take place in only a couple of months... sometimes i wonder if such drastic transformations take place in soul in such a short period of time, and if so, are our shifts in thought so ovbiously and apparent to all?" the changes that are really the ones that matter are always the hardest to see. like is georgia in a better state because its beautified by its apple blossoms?
ive been here for over 2 years now, long enough to witness the drastic changes of the seasons, but still i am blind to the changes of me as a person. im sure im a little different, im a little changed, but in anyway so drastic or monumental, so obvious to yall who knew me before i left and know me as i am now...i dont think so. its not a bad thing, but it is interesting, no?
anyways, as i ramble as usual...i have an exciting announcement! no, not that exciting so dont get too worked up, i officially land on US-soil, even better So. Cali-soil, on thursday, june 15th, at 12:45 pm!!! woo hoo!!! okay that is all.
ill see yall in 7 weeks, but i hope to hear from yall before then!
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